I can't quite pinpoint the exact feeling, but something close to 'floating and disappearing into thin air' feels close. It's similar to how I felt during the worst of the covid hysteria; like I truly do not know my fellow countrymen. At all. Like I'm the alien.
First it was the Jason Arday scandal. Then the armies of the worst and most predictable people imaginable lining up to absolutely nuke their reputations to defend him. Then he killed himself and we all found out he was a father, somehow, and it took a different turn. I even had a whole blog post ready to go: 'You Wouldn't Believe The Jason Arday Story If It Were In A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel.' Then the outright attacks on Nathan Confas, the man who outed Arday in the first place. Again, if you read that entire saga in a book by George Orwell, you would honestly think that it was too outlandish, even for a fiction book.
Then, of course, the Lindsay Clancy story. Truly, for the life of me, I cannot wrap my head around the support she is receiving, plus the fact that she's probably not even going to be convicted of murder. She purposefully sent her husband on a long errand, strangled her three tiny children to death, one by one, one of them had their fucking eyeballs pop out. Can you fucking imagine the confusion and pure terror that were those childrens' last moments?? And women are treating her like a celebrity! Taking selfies with her lawyer! I'm sure you've seen it all online. Imagine a man murdered his three kids and thousands of men show up to the court house to show support for him! And ask yourself this question: do you know the kids names? I wouldn't if I hadn't looked it up. Nobody seems to give a fuck about them. It is so dark, I'm finding it hard to write about.
By the way, I am far from the first person to make this point, but the idea of seriously restricting women's rights in America is inching its way into the mainstream. If it becomes 'law' that this woman was not in charge of her own actions due to 'post-partum hormones' or whatever, then we need to have a few more conversations. That's for another day I suppose. But I cannot believe that women don't seem to understand the implications of this trial.
Then you have that 32 year old new mom getting murdered in NY by an obese should-have-been-an-Aztez-human-sacrifice 'woman', and the online left gleefully celebrating because the recently married and new mom had some mid level job at Bank of America. The 'believe all women' crowd celebrating a newly married, new mom getting knifed to death by an overstuffed tortilla who belongs in a nuthouse on the other side of the planet, all because she worked for a bank. Worked for a bank!! (It's actually because she was White and attractive. Don't believe me? If it were the same exact story but the killer was a White man and the victim was a black woman who also worked at BOFA, what do you think the lefts' reaction would have been? Be honest.)
And I keep thinking, am I just too online? If it weren't for the internet, I probably wouldn't know about any of these things. At least not in detail. But is the internet a funhouse mirror, distorting truth? Or a rock to lift up, exposing reality? (You might be able to tell from my metaphors that I spent a lot of time as a kid lifting up rocks looking for lizards and things).
I planned on writing about these stories but there's more than enough of that to go around.
What I come back to though is the overall feeling. Again, it's like I'm drifting into space. Like I don't know anything or anyone anymore. Nothing matters, everything is fake, everyone is awful and the future is bleak.
And I just hate this shit. I wanted to make a post RANTING about No Vig changing from American odds to 'percentages' and that being the way of the future, apparently. I want to talk about arbs and trading and the upcoming football season. I still haven't talked about my big boy BTC purchases.
I will get to all that but it feels like nonsense, right now at least. Like I just want to take my family and move into the woods where we never see another human being again.
"When you just want to be left alone, you become a libertarian. When you realize they'll never leave you alone, you become something else."
Sorry for the absolute downer of a post. A few of these lately. I can only be honest and this is how I feel right now.
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